Growing Up Again
by Kassy Keil
Summary: The Pevensies are back in England. And in their much younger bodies. This is a hard adjustment for all of them. This is the story, from Lucy's perspective, of four monarchs growing up all over again.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the_ Chronicles of Narnia_. If I did, the _Prince Caspian_ movie would have been much closer to the book. I would also be dead, and a man. I am clearly neither.

* * *

The night after we had fallen out of the wardrobe, we sat on Peter's bed in the boys' room and talked about how to deal with being back here. Despite numerous attempts, none of us had found any way back through the wardrobe. Though none of us were pleased by the prospect, it seemed that we were stuck here for the time being, and we would have to deal with it.

"Come now," Susan said, "at least we are in friendly territory."

That was Susan, always trying to look on the bright side.

"I noticed you didn't call it 'home,'" replied the ever-observant Edmund.

Susan glowered at him. Peter scowled at both.

"You're not helping, Ed. I suppose there's nothing for it but to try to re-adjust."

Re-adjust. None of us had even begun to comprehend how difficult that would be once we were "home." When we were with Professor Kirke, it was easy enough. He believed us when we talked about Narnia. How could he not when he had been there once himself? He understood that we had lived a lifetime already, and he treated us with the respect due to the monarchs of Narnia. In his country manor, we could talk freely about life at home. We could wonder and conjecture about what might have happened since we had left.

It was different once Mum picked us up from the train station. We were thrilled to see her. After all, twenty years is an awfully long time to go without seeing one's mother. We had all missed her something dreadful. I think Ed felt it most. He had been something of a prig when we had said goodbye. I knew from the way she clutched me in her arms that it wouldn't be easy to be around her. This was reaffirmed when she held my hand as we crossed the street, and the way she spoke to me as if I couldn't understand words that had more than two syllables. By the time we had arrived home from the train station, I was more than a little cross. I tried to smile a pretty little girl smile, and pretend that I was not at all annoyed, but Edmund quickly saw through that. He drew Mum's attention to himself.

"Mother, I feel I should apologize for my behavior before I left," he began. "I can see, looking back that I was being horrible both to you and my Ki-- I mean brother-- Peter, especially. Peter was gracious enough to accept my apology, and I do hope that you might do the same."

I could see that he had more to say. In Narnia, his apologies were often long. He liked to make it clear that he understood exactly what he had done wrong, and that he would try to never do such a thing again. Mother just clutched him to her, weeping about how her little boy had grown up, and _of course_ she forgave him.

We all went to bed early that night. I think we were all desperate to be away from the weepy woman who was our mother.

~~BREAK~~

I could hear the crickets chirping. It was somehow off, but I couldn't put my finger on just what was wrong with the sound. The sheets were colder than they usually were. My toes were chilled. I reached a hand out from under the blanket, hoping to find the husband that was being cruel enough to deny me his warmth. My fingers found nothing. That was odd.

"Tumnus?" I called, hoping to bring my wayward faun back to bed.

There was no answer. Had he left the room? Groggily, I opened my eyes. The pale pink walls that had once been familiar and now were foreign brought me back to reality. I wasn't home anymore. I was back in England, the place of my long distant childhood. Catching sight of the new doll Mum had bought for me yesterday, I was reminded that I had been forced not only into the place of my childhood, but also back into childhood itself. I had tried to talk Mum out of buying me the silly doll-- Aslan knows we don't have money to spare on frivolities-- but she had insisted.

I hated the stupid pink walls. I hated the ridiculous teddies and dollies that were littered about this awful room. I hated the dirty air I had to breath and the scratchy sheets. More than anything else, I hated that my toes were cold. I was away from my husband, my love. We had been back in England for three weeks now, and this was the part I was having the most trouble adjusting to. I hated waking up alone. Since our marriage nearly six years ago, Tumnus and I had never slept apart. I missed his funny cloven hooves, his warm, fur covered legs, his darling goat's ears. I missed his blue eyes and his warm smile. I missed the way his arms felt wrapped around my waist. I missed the feel of his hair between my fingers. I missed everything about him. And I hated it. I hated this stupid world for taking him away from me. I felt hot tears slipping down my cheeks. I had known this wouldn't be easy.

Resigned, I pushed back the covers and sat up. My overly frilled nightgown had bunched uncomfortably around my thighs during the night, and I spent several moments struggling to right it before giving up. I slid my feet into the slippers beside my bed and pulled my dressing gown off its hook. The dressing gown had once belonged to Susan. It had been her favorite shade of purple, but was now worn and faded. I found it was still serviceably warm as I pulled my bedroom door open slightly and poked my head into the hall. I was lucky; the lights were all out, which meant that no one else was awake.

I crept down the hall, trying to remember where to step to avoid the creaks in the floor. It was useless. I had been away too long. I winced as the second stair made a particularly loud squeak. Before too long, I had managed to pull the back door open and was standing out in the garden. The night air was crisp, but my dressing gown and slippers saved me from being cold.

I closed my eyes for a moment to appreciate the feel of the night air and the stars on my face. I tilted my head back to catch more starlight, pretending that I was back home. The sound of a plane overhead ruined the effect. With a sigh, I opened my eyes and went to sit on the little bench. It seemed forever ago that Father had carved our names into the wood.

"Little girls should not be outside in the middle of the night."

I turned to glare at the speaker, whoever it was. It was Edmund.

"Queens, however--well, I suppose they can do whatever they like."

I softened, and Edmund came and sat beside me, putting an arm around my shoulder.

"What woke you up, Lu?"

"My feet were cold," I told him. "Tumnus never let my feet get cold."

"I suppose his furry legs would keep them warm."

I could feel tears leaking from my eyes as I nodded.

"Always."

"What's this, then? A king and queen sitting in the dark?" came Peter's teasing voice.

He had a small blanket with him. He spread it on the ground at the foot of the bench, and Ed and I dropped from the bench to sit on it with him.

"It's almost dawn," Peter whispered with a sort of reverence.

"You'll all catch your death sitting on the cold ground like that with nothing to keep you warm."

We all looked up to see Susan standing in the doorway with a tea tray. She came and sat the tray down between us on the blanket, then fussed, making sure each of us had a proper cup, before taking her own and sitting on the bench.

The four of us were silent as we sat and enjoyed the night. We kings and queens of Narnia sat on a blanket in an English garden and watched the sun rise slowly. If the buildings obscuring the horizon had been trees, it could almost have been a Narnian dawn. Tears trickled down my cheeks, and as I looked at my siblings, I could see tears on their faces as well. Edmund grasped one of my hands, and Susan leaned down from her bench to hold the other. We Narnians watched a foreign sun light up a foreign sky.

* * *

Ok, that's the first chapter done! I hope you all liked it. I am going to try update once a week, but I will be a bit busy with finals soon. If you think I am taking too long, feel free to yell at me. I hope you all like it!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, everyone! I am back for Chapter 2!

If I owned the Chronicles of Narnia, there would some romance in the books. Also, I would have a lot of money. As I am completely broke, I think it is safe to assume that I do not.

* * *

We sat in that garden until the sun had come fully up. When it was fully morning, we gathered up the tea things and the blanket and trudged back into the house. Susan made fresh tea, and we sat around the kitchen table to drink it. I felt as if we were discussing war plans back in Narnia. But our advisors were missing.

"This is harder than I thought it would be," Peter said.

The rest of us nodded.

"Mother is suffocating me," I added.

"Sorry, Lu," Ed said, "but as far as she is concerned, you just turned nine."

"Yes, which is why I have a pretty new dolly. That Mother wasted money on, because I shall never play with it."

"Lu…" Susan trailed off and took another sip of tea.

There was nothing to say, and they knew it. We all knew the same would happen to them, being given a gift they had no use for, though probably only on their birthdays. I was the baby, and Mum thought I should be spoiled.

We sat around the kitchen table drinking tea and talking for hours. Mother found us some hours later, and worried that we were awake so early. She asked us who had made the tea. We had each made a batch, and we told her so. Mum didn't like that.

"Peter! You let your little sister Lucy near a hot stove? What were you thinking? She could have burned herself!"

"So could I! Or Edmund, or even Susan!" Peter exclaimed. "But we didn't! I was thinking that we are all perfectly capable of making tea!"

Mother ignored him as she inspected my fingers for burns or blisters of any kind.

"I am perfectly capable of making tea," I told her. "I am not a baby."

"No, no. Of course not, poppet," she crooned, still inspecting my fingers.

I heaved a sigh. This was getting very old very fast. I put on my best little girl smile, and with as much innocence as I could muster asked, "Mummy, what's for breakfast?"

She shooed us out of the kitchen after that. Susan and I both volunteered to help make breakfast, but I was told, in an incredibly patronizing tone, that I was simply too young to be of any help. I could feel the anger bubbling inside of me. Su gave me a warning look, and Pete lead me into the living room before I could lose my temper.

When the boys and I sat in the living room, Ed asked if either of us thought that we could get our hands on some bows and arrows here in London.

"I think we might be able to find some," Peter mused. "If not, I think we can find the materials to make our own."

"I'd much rather make our own," I interjected. "Ones you make yourself always work better for you."

"Like a sword made for your hand," Edmund added. "We could set up a small range in the park down the lane. Not many people go there, so we wouldn't look too odd."

"I would love to be able to practice again," I said wistfully, thinking of our range back at Cair Paravel.

"Practice what?"

Mum and Susan stood in the doorway, no doubt to tell us breakfast was ready.

Ed, Pete, and I exchanged glances.

"Piano!" Susan exclaimed suddenly. "Lucy was teaching herself piano when we were at Professor Kirke's. She mentioned wanting to continue when we got home. Right, Lu?"

Susan gave me a rather pointed look.

"Oh, yes! We were talking about whether we could get the old piano tuned."

The old piano sat in the corner. It had belonged to our grandmother, but no one had ever played. I had learned how to play when we were in Narnia. Fiauna, one of my faun ladies, had taught me. I would like to play again. I had some lovely Naranian folk tunes memorized that I am sure Mum would enjoy, even if she didn't know where they were from.

"I'm sure I can find someone to tune it," Mum said, looking overjoyed at the thought the piano finally being used. "I will try to find some time to take you to the music store this week, and we can pick out some sheet music, too."

"I'll take her," Peter said. "I know how busy you are. If you give us some money, I can take her tomorrow and we can buy music, as well as someone to come tune the piano."

"Oh, thank you, Peter dear. I can't wait to hear you play something, Lucy."

The next morning, shortly after Mother had gone to work, all four of us set out for the music store. We quickly found the man who could tune instruments, and he agreed to come with us when we had finished picking out music.

"Just let me know when you young ones are done, and I'll come and set your piano straight."

We thanked him and set about picking music. Though I was the only one who played well, the rest were excited to pick music for me to play. It was nice not to have to worry about Mum worrying about the level of difficulty of the pieces we bought. I found several pieces of Mozart and Bach that I had always wanted to learn. Susan found some blank sheet music.

"I think between the four of us, we can remember some Narnian songs well enough to write a few down."

The thought thrilled me. We finished picking music quickly enough, and we walked home with the man from the shop.

"Which one of you young 'ins plays?" he asked.

"I do, sir," I replied.

The man looked me up and down.

"Aye, you have that look about you."

"What look," I asked, incredibly confused.

"That musical look," he answered shortly.

I was still confused. We led him into the house and directed him to the piano, then we sat and watched him work. Though he was rather old, he worked quickly. Within in half an hour, he sat back on his haunches, tools in hand.

"That ought to do it," he announced. "Give her a try, young one."

I took my place at the bench. The feel of ivory beneath my fingers was so familiar.

"Play something from home," Susan whispered.

I closed my eyes, letting my fingers wander over the keys, playing a few scales. Then I began an old Narnian melody Tumnus had taught me many years ago. He had always played it on his pipes, and one summer evening, he and Fiauna had transcribed it to piano so I could play it.

It was a sad song, but it brought back so many happy memories. Memories of picnics at sunset, concerts in the throne room-- I playing, with Susan singing, Peter and Edmund bursting with pride from their thrones. I felt myself get swept away in memories of those happy times, and the sad song became far more wistful. My fingers switched songs, starting a happier tune. It was a song of springtime. Behind my eyelids, flowers burst into bloom, and the satyrs, fauns, dryads, and hamadryads were dancing on the palace lawn, in the ballroom, a wild, graceful, natural dance. The song ended and I opened my eyes to look at the piano.

"Beautiful," I whispered. "Perfect."

I turned to look at my audience. Peter was beside Edmund on the couch. Both sat with a sort of relaxed, but still regal posture, with content, wistful smiles on their faces. Susan sat on the floor between them, her legs folded underneath her, and Peter's hand gently stroking her hair. She was smiling, but there were tears on her cheeks.

The tuner stood leaning against the door, a look of confused awe on his face.

"Thank you, sir," I told him. "It is perfect."

The man shook himself.

"No, lass, thank you. That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard."

I could feel myself flushing. I had never been good at taking praise. He put on his hat and coat, and turned to leave.

"Sir! We haven't paid you!" Peter exclaimed, remembering that he stil had the money in his pocket.

"No payment, young one. Hearing her play was enough."

With that, the man gave a small bow and left, we staring after him.

"I suppose I should give the money back to Mum, then," Peter said. "Though I'm not sure how she will take it."

"No," Susan said, wiping away her tears. "She wouldn't understand. We should keep the money."

I looked at her in shock.

"But, Su--"

"Just think," she interrupted me, "We can use to begin saving for buying materials for bows and arrows. I know that is what Lucy was really talking about earlier. I should like to practice as well. Maybe we could even buy some mock swords for you boys."

I think we were all a bit shocked, but what she said have made sense. Mother wouldn't understand, and it was a good bit of money.

"All right then, I shall tuck it away. We still need a bit more to buy what we need," Peter said. "I would like to buy a sword, but I think that will have to wait a bit longer."

Peter tucked the money into his pocket.

"For now, Pete, should we go see if we can find some branches or something that will serve?" Ed asked. "I am itching for a good sparring match."

Peter clasped Edmund's shoulder and the two buys went out to the back garden. Susan went upstairs to see if she could find some spare clothe she could embroider. I told her she was welcome to add some detailing to any of my clothes. She smiled, and told me would. I went back to my piano, pulling out some of the sheet music we had bought, and began to teach myself some Mozart.

* * *

That is the end of Chapter 2!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I will be trying to answer all reviews. So:

Suka, don't be ridiculous. We would not have nearly as much fun this summer if I were a dead man, and you know it.

completlyTwilightObessed: I am so glad you liked it! I will be updating as fast as I can, but I do have finals coming up. There should be a new chapter about once a week.

That is me done, so I will see you all again next week!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: If I owned Chronicles of Narnia, I would have a goddaughter named Lucy. I do not. Therefore, I do not own Chronicles of Narnia

* * *

The boys came in sweaty around noon, so we put together a few sandwiches, made some lemonade, called Susan down, and sat on a blanket in the garden to eat them.

"I've added some lovely embellishments to a few of your tops, Lu," Susan told me. "And I was thinking of getting my hands on some beads, to make some of our dresses a bit nicer."

I grinned at her.

"Thanks, Su. Sounds perfect. How was sparring, boys? Get rid of the itch, Ed?"

"Not at all," Pete replied. "Made it worse. What I wouldn't give for a real sword!"

Ed nodded, "It's just not the same. The balance is off."

"That might be you," Su pointed out. "You're used to being a man."

Both boys acknowledged that this might be true.

"This garden is in a sad state," Peter said looking around. "I doubt Mum's had much time to look after it this summer."

I nodded. It needed a lot of weeding, and some new flowers planted.

"What do you say we put it to rights tomorrow?" Edmund suggested. "Pete and I could spend the morning weeding while you girls went and bought some flowers to plant, then in the afternoon we could all plant them together."

"That sounds lovely! It would make a great surprise for Mum," Susan said.

"It's settled then," Pete declared, and promptly lay back and closed his eyes. "Mmm…the sun feels wonderful on my face."

"Su, I was thinking it would be nice if we made dinner tonight."

"You and me, Lu?"

I nodded.

"I saw some ingredients when we were making sandwiches. I think I could make something a bit Narnian."

Susan grinned.

"Sounds great."

We left the boys to snooze, and went inside to look at the work Susan had done this morning.

"Oh, Su," I breathed when I saw what she had done to one of my plain blue blouses.

She had added silver and gold leaves entwining about the collar and sleeves. It was beautiful.

"Thought you'd like that," Susan grinned.

We went through both of our closets, finding things we could add a taste of Narnia to. Dresses, skirts, blouses, and even stockings went into the pile.

"I'll get started on these right away," Su said as she gathered the clothes into her arms.

I pulled the blue blouse out of the pile.

"I think I will wear this tonight."

Su smiled and left so I could change.

A few hours later, Susan and I met in the kitchen to begin working on dinner.

"I was thinking of salad--"

"With some cut apples--"

"And a simple vinaigrette?"

We both grinned. We had spent a great deal of time in the kitchens with the fauns and Animals who helped make our food. They had liked having us there, sharing different cooking techniques and recipes.

Susan stuck her head in the fridge to think about what we could make for a main course. Our options were limited. We finally decided on chicken, but we would make an herb sauce to put over it, some roasted potatoes, and some string beans. For dessert, Susan was going to put together a mint custard.

I pulled out the pan, which was heavy in my young arms, and got started on browning the chicken while Susan made her custard. When we were finished, and herb sauce was made, tasting of fresh thyme and sage, we made the salad together. We slicing apples, and laughing at stories from back home, when the boys came in from their long nap.

"Smells good," Pete said as he leaned over the sauce.

"Fingers out of the bowl," I snapped at him. "Ed, could you set the table?"

Edmund nodded, and set about the task. Peter sliced some bread. Susan and I were just tossing the salad with vinaigrette when Mum came in.

"Well! What a lovely surprise!" she cried as we began to bring food out to the table. "It smells wonderful. You girls made this together?"

I flushed and grinned.

We passed the food around and everyone served themselves. Mum kept exclaiming over how good everything was. I think she was especially excited to have come home to dinner already made.

"We'd be happy to make dinner every night, Mum," Susan volunteered.

Mum put a hand over Susan's.

"Thank you, darling. I would appreciate it."

"We could do the shopping, too," I added, "That way we can make sure we buy what we want to cook."

Mum smiled and agreed.

"I see you went to the music store this morning, too. Did you find someone to tune the piano?"

"Yes. And we found lots of music for Lu," Peter said. "Maybe she could play for us after dinner?"

I smiled.

"Only if Su sings."

Su agreed and we finished dinner. Edmund and Peter helped clear the table while Susan made tea. We sent the boys into have tea in the living room to have tea with Mother while we washed up and got things out for dessert.

When we brought the custard out, Mum was delighted all over again. Ed grinned. Mint custard was his favorite. Susan and I finished quickly and made our way over to the piano.

"I was thinking 'Aeliana,'" I said, naming an old song one of the dryads had taught us.

Susan smiled and nodded, so I put my fingers to the keys and let the music flow back into my mind. This song was one of my favorites. The dryads had written it during the Hundred Years of Winter. It was wistful, a longing for springtime and new love. After a few bars, Susan voice joined in. Her voice was as sweet as I remembered. Again, I found myself closing my eyes and letting the memories of home sweep through me.

By the time we finished, I had tears on my cheeks. I was beginning to feel silly; I had cried so much lately. My siblings all had tears on their cheeks as well. I think we were all thinking of home; of all the people we had left behind.

"That was beautiful," Mom said breaking the spell. "Where is it from."

I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand as I tried to think of where I could have learned it. I don't think "Oh, a dryad taught us," would go over well.

"Um," Susan started.

"I found it in a book. An old music book. At the professor's house," I explained. "It was so pretty I had to learn it."

"I can see why," Mother said, wiping away her own tears. "Lovely. And you play remarkably well for having taught yourself this summer."

"It rained a lot this summer. I was inspired."

Edmund laughed. The rain was how we ended up playing hide and seek, which lead to my discovery of Narnia, where I had learned the song. I grinned. I knew Ed would get it.

"It's getting quite late. Why don't you four head up to bed?"

"But the dishes from dessert--"

"Don't worry about them, Susan. After such a lovely meal, the least I can do is a few dishes."

I paused half way up the stairs to look back at Mum. She was standing by the piano, fingers ghosting over the keys and a sad smile on her face. I heard her let out a sad sigh.

"When did my little ones grow up?" I heard her say quietly.

I sent an equally sad smile her way, wishing I could explain, before turning up the stairs to head to bed.

* * *

I finished Chapter 3!! Now for review responses!

Suka: You are creepy. Please stop. I had to add music. A lot of people have Lucy be a very good artist, but I always thought that since she was such good friends with Tumnus, and he played the pipes, she would learn to play music.

Austra: I think yours may have been the review that made me smile most! Bad grammar and spelling make me cringe! It's one thing in texts, but it is another when other people are reading your work. I will do my best to keep my work at a professional level. If you ever spot anything wrong, let me know and I will fix it!

Liz6363: I am honored you picked mine as your first! I hope I continue to live up to expectations.

Nek0Nek0: I am so glad you like it!!

Fan of the Just King: First of all, I love your name! Edmund is so under appreciated. I will do my very best to keep it up! 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: If I owned Chronicles of Narnia, I would have lots and lots of money. Alas, I can barely afford to do laundry, so I clearly do not.

* * *

I woke up early again the next morning; the sun was barely up. I pulled on my dressing gown and made my way into the kitchen.

Edmund was sitting at the kitchen table, a steaming mug in his hands.

"I made hot cocoa," he said. "There's more on the stove."

I smiled at him and poured myself a mug before joining him.

"You are awake very early, my king."

Edmund sighed.

"My queen, I am awake 25 years too early."

Edmund stared into his mug. Then he looked out into the garden. The morning sun was gilding the leaves and grass. The sky was almost clear of clouds. It promised to be a glorious English day.

"I do no know who to be when we are here."

"Be yourself. Be my brother, King Edmund the Just," I told him pulling his hand into mine.

"This world does not see me as king. This world does not need me."

"The world can always use more justice," Peter said from the doorway. "But what use is there for magnificence?"

Peter sat next to me at the table, his elbows support him as he leaned forward. Both of my brothers looked defeated. The light within them had gone out. I didn't know what to say. I was struggling with my own doubt. England already how a queen. And no one liked valiant women. How was I supposed to show valiance anyway? They would never let a woman, let alone a little girl, any where near danger.

"Are we making this a ritual?" Susan asked as she came and joined us.

"We are wallowing, gentle sister, in self doubt," Peter told her. "For we do not our purpose in this world."

"You have discovered my fear, dear brother," Susan said, coming to sit beside Edmund. "I feel I have even less purpose than any of you. I am not valiant or just or magnificent. I am merely gentle, and what use is there for me?"

None of us knew what to say, so we sat in silence. I felt lost. At home, our purposes were clear. It was our job to lead our people. Peter and Edmund lead them from the front line, Susan and I lead from the hearth. But--

"We have purpose in each other's lives, don't we?"

My siblings looked at me. There was a look of hope in their eyes. I looked at Peter.

"Peter, you are still our protector and you will always be our High King. You were born to lead and inspire people, starting with your family. And maybe no one else will see that, but I, at least, always will."

Peter straightened in his chair, once again the king I knew. I turned to address Susan.

"You are the rock that keeps us together. You make home something worth returning to. This world can use all the beauty and gentleness it can get."

Susan smiled, and I could see in her the woman that many referred to as the most beautiful in the world. Now only Edmund was left.

"When can any world not use justice? You, dear brother, bring us balance. You remind us always that people deserve a second chance. That no one is beyond help. You bring us wisdom. A cool head, and subtlety in times of struggle. You are ever a voice of both hope and reason."

Edmund's head was raised. Here was my just brother.

"And once more, our youngest sister is the light in our darkness," Susan smiled.

"A beacon of hope, leading us towards a brighter future," Edmund added.

"A reminder of why we send people into battle, and why we fight to return home," Peter finished.

I beamed.

"See?" I said impishly, "We _do_ have purpose. Even if it is nothing more than to finish each other's thoughts."

Edmund and I finished our cocoa just as Mum came in to make breakfast.

"Up early again?" she asked. "Is this something you learned in the country?"

We all agreed. This morning she let us sit in the room as she bustled about making toast and eggs for all of us.

"Girls, I left some money on the front table for you, so you can buy food for the week. Peter, if you and Edmund would go with them, I would feel much better about sending them to do the shopping."

"Of course, Mum," Peter agreed, kissing her cheek as he shooed her out the door.

Once she was gone, I felt free to roll my eyes. Edmund did the same, but Peter merely chuckled. The boys made their way to the back yard to begin weeding and Susan and I collected the money to go buy food and flowers.

We had just gotten to the end of the block when we heard Peter cry out from behind us. I turned to find him running towards us, his pen knife in his hand.

"Take this," he panted. "I know you could fight off old men at home, but you are smaller here. I know you can still use one of these though."

I took the knife, getting used to the feel of it in my hand. I had always been better with a dagger than Susan. It was smaller than my own little dagger, but as I twisted it in my hand, I determined that I could use it just fine. Peter smiled, looking relieved, and went back to the house.

Susan and I walked along to the market laughing and swinging our arms. We were both wearing dresses that Susan had added a few Narnian touches to. I felt very pretty, but very young. A pretty little girl. As Susan laughed, I could see in her the reflection of the woman she had been; the woman she would become.

The market was quiet this time of day, mostly older women who couldn't work anymore. Susan had faith that I could take care of myself, and so sent me off to pick out some fruit and vegetables while she argued with the butcher.

The woman behind the produce counter gave me a smile I returned as I felt the tomatoes for ripeness.

"Would you like me to pick some nice ones out for you?" she asked.

"No, thank you, ma'am."

"Where is your mother, darling? I can't imagine her letting a pretty little girl like you out of her sight."

I was beginning to get annoyed. I drew myself up, draping myself in a mantle of dignity, recalling the feel of being looked at with respect--awe even.

"My mother works. My sister and I do the shopping and the cooking to make things a bit easier. I thank you for your concern, ma'am, but assure you that it is unnecessary."

The woman looked a bit shocked, but let me go about my business without another word. Susan came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you finished here, Lucy?"

I nodded.

"I just need to pay."

The woman gave me a discount, and bobbed in an odd sort of half bow as Susan and I left.

"What did you do to that poor woman, Lu? She seemed half scared of you."

"She was being incredibly patronizing," I explained. "I did nothing more than stand up straight."

Susan rolled her eyes.

"You made yourself look like a queen," she said, poking me playfully.

I stuck my nose in the air.

"I have the right. I _am_ a queen after all."

Susan laughed and we linked arms as we walked to the flower shop.

We selected some hydrangeas, tulips, and lilies of the valley to plant in the garden. As we were taking our choices to the front to pay, a bright flower caught my eye.

"Susan! Look at this one!" I called kneeling down beside it.

It was a chrysanthemum, red, with a yellow center.

"Doesn't it almost remind you of our coat of arms?"

Susan smiled sadly and said nothing, but she added a few of them to our purchases.

After the flower shop, we walked home in silence. When we got home I told Susan I was going upstairs for a quick nap. She nodded and began to put away groceries after letting the boys know we had gotten home safe.

I went into the boys' room to put Peter's knife on his desk. Their room was neat and tidy. I couldn't help but think that it reminded me of a war tent--it was impersonal and easily left. I couldn't bear the thought of going into my own room, so I sat in their window seat and watched the boys work in the garden.

They had become very close in the years we were at home. I think it comes from being in battle together. Even now, the way they worked together seemed effortless. They seemed to anticipate the other's needs without talking, or even a signal. They just seemed to know. Susan and I had gotten closer, but our bond was no where near as close as the one between Peter and Edmund. I watched them work until they were I heard Susan call them inside for lunch, then I made my way downstairs to join them.

* * *

Yay for another chapter up!!

IMPORTANT NOTE!!! Next week's chapter will be posted on Saturday, instead of Friday. I have finals all week, and will not have time to post.

Now for reviews...

Eavis: Thanks for reviewing! I personally feel like mothers are much more smothering during times of trouble, such as war, especially when they haven't seen their children in a while. Also, no matter how not smothering a mother is, she will seem like it to a woman who has been without a mother for a while. As far as Lucy and Tumnus go...There is no romance in canon, but falling in love is such an important part of growing up, I couldn't leave it out. It will be pretty minor though, just small mentions of her marriage. I'm really glad you like the way they talk! I find it a bit hard to write, being American, and growing up today, to write the way royalty would speak, so I'm happy you think its coming out well.

Austra: I am so glad you like it so much! Enthusiasm is contagious! You always make me want to write more, so keep the reviews coming!

pselpenvensie: I have every intention of continuing, as long as my muse stays with me.

fromstargirl: I always thought it would be hard to go back to being a kid. I have to say, the biggest inspiration for actually writing this was going away to college. I had no idea it would be so hard to live without any parental supervision and then go home over break--and my parents don't treat me like a little girl anymore!

Fan of the Just King: Aw! Thanks so much!

Suka: I think you're pretty wonderful yourself.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do own Chronicles of Narnia! I do!.....Wait that was just a dream. Darn...I was so excited for a minute there.

* * *

We spent the afternoon planting in the garden. It should have been a quick task, but we spent more time shouting and teasing than actually planting. The boys liked our flower choices, especially the chrysanthemums, just as I knew they would. I felt as if we were back home once more. Susan and I made dinner again, pasta in a light pesto sauce. Susan thought we should serve dinner in the garden, so the boys dragged a table out from the basement. I found a pretty blue and white checked table cloth in one of the bureaus, and we lay the table on that.

When Mum came home, we ushered her out to the garden. She gasped in delight to see what we had done with it. She walked around the table, admiring our work. She hugged each of us in turn, holding us tight and kissing our cheeks. Then she shepherded us to the table, saying that she was hungry. It was a cool summer night, and a light breeze ruffled my curls.

After we had finished the meal, Peter told us he had to run inside to get something. He shared a secretive smile with Edmund that left me even more confused. Mum leaned back in her chair with an air of contentment.

"I will miss this," she said, "when you go away to school in two weeks, Susan."

Susan replied, but I didn't hear. I was shocked. I had forgotten they would have to go away to school. I had forgotten I would have to attend primary school again. That meant I would be left here, alone. We had been separated from each before, and when we were in Narnia, but this time would be different. School mean trying to make friends among children twenty-five years younger than myself. School meant teachers who would treat me as if I was a silly child.

Susan leaned over and grabbed my hand. Edmund gave me a reassuring smile.

"We will write all the time," Edmund said. "Just like when Peter and I were at--"

He cut off, remembering that he couldn't tell Mum he had been to war.

"Just like Peter and I said we would," he amended. Susan nodded in agreement.

Peter arrived back in the garden, a grin on his face.

"Why do you look so gloomy?" he asked.

"Mum was just reminding us that school starts in two weeks," Susan told him.

Peter looked as if he wanted to swear. I giggled a bit. Peter had hated lessons. He simply did not enjoy being a scholar. Not that he was a bad student, in fact he learned quickly and well, he just didn't like it. It had always been Edmund who had a real thirst for knowledge. Peter sighed, and then smiled again.

"We still have two weeks," he announced, "and in the meantime there is much fun to be had."

With that he produced a panpipe from his back pocket.

"I found it at the music store yesterday," he explained. "I thought that, maybe if I played, you might dance, Lu?"

I grinned and pushed my chair back.

"Will my brother and sister join me?" I asked as I kicked off my shoes.

Edmund agreed, but Susan sat out, saying she much preferred to watch. Peter began a lively tune, one he had no doubt learned from a faun. Edmund and I bowed and joined hands to begin the dance. There were all sorts of dances in Narnia, slow formal ones, and fast casual ones. This song called for a fast jig. I felt the rhythm in my feet. I remembered the lessons the dryads and nymphs had given me and threw my hands up, letting my feet fly. At some point, Edmund fell back, winded and tired, but I couldn't stop. This felt natural; right. The breeze moved the leaves in the trees above me, and I could almost see the dryads there with me, caught up in the dance. I began to circle around the table, twirling as I went. I could hear Susan laughing and clapping along.

At length the song drew to a close, and I fell into the traditional Narnian curtsy. Susan and Edmund applauded loudly, and I flushed with pleasure. I ran to Peter, throwing my arms around his neck, kissing his cheeks repeatedly.

"Thank you, thank you," I said continually.

"You're welcome, dear one," he laughed.

I drew back to see Mother clearing the table. I frowned. Had she not liked it? I went to help her.

"No, no," she said, brushing my help aside. "I'll get this, love."

When she turned to take the dishes into the kitchen, I could see tears in her eyes. Why was she crying? Not knowing what else to do, I went into the living room and sat at the piano. I pulled "Für Elise" out of the my music folder and began to play. I played through once quickly, then played it again, slowly and with as much feeling as I could muster. When I finished, Mum stood in the doorway.

"That was beautiful," she said. "As was the dance earlier."

I smiled. She had liked it.

"But you are growing up," she continued. "You can not continue to behave as a wild thing. You will be a young lady soon. You should start behaving as such."

I glowered. I was thirty-three years old! I had ruled as a queen for twenty-five years! I was more of a lady than she was!

"I know that isn't what you want to hear," Mum went on.

She said more, but I was too angry to let the words into my thoughts. I stood up from the piano, drawing myself up much the same way I had at the market earlier.

"Excuse me," I interrupted. "A lady knows when abuse has gone far enough and she puts a stop to it. I have every right to express myself as I see fit. I dance like a wild thing because wild things are more graceful and more natural than any stiff waltz ever could be. I would thank you not to condemn my behavior simply because it does not mirror yours."

With that, I turned on my heel and went upstairs, leaving my mother to stare after me. I went into my room angry and hurt. Edmund came in a few minutes later.

"She doesn't understand," he said quietly. "She doesn't know."

I glared at him. My temper had not cooled enough to look at this reasonably.

"Lu, England is different from home, you know that."

I finally nodded.

"It just made me so angry," I told him. "She was scolding me. Like a child with no manors, no discipline. Do you have any idea how much _discipline_ it took not to yell at her? Not to tell her that I am thirty-three and a queen?"

He came and put his arm around me. I leaned into his shoulder, letting my anger dissolve once more into sorrow and tears. Susan and Peter came in. Susan sat on my other side, taking my hand in hers. Peter shut the door behind him before sitting at my feet.

"You gave Mum a bit of a shock," Peter said with a laugh in his voice. "Gave her a stern talking to, didn't you, my little queen?"

"I couldn't help it."

"I don't blame you. I think it might be hardest on you and Ed. Mum is already used to giving me and Su a bit of respect…but you and Ed are still her babies. She can't bear to see you grow up."

"I know," I whispered. "Or, at least, I keep trying to remember that. But I _did _grow up. A long time ago. I'm married. Tumnus and I had been thinking about having children…"

_Tumnus_. My poor husband. What must he be going through.

"Do you think Aslan told them? What happened to us?"

"I'm sure He let them know. He always does what is right," Susan

promised.

"Do you think we will ever get back?"

"I don't know," Edmund answered. "but I have faith that we will."

"Faith," Susan whispered. "We must all have faith."

"In Aslan," Peter continued. "and in ourselves."

Edmund and Susan rose from the bed. Susan pulled me into a tight

embrace, saying she was going to help Mother finish the dishes

before going to bed. She promised she would try to have a word with

Mum about not treating me like such a child. Edmund gave my shoulder a

squeeze, saying he was done for the night and went into his room. Peter sat

with me a few moments longer, taking my small hands between his much

larger ones.

"I know it's hard, Lu. We're all struggling. But Edmund is

right. We must have faith. Aslan knows what he is doing. I am sure he will

bring us home soon."

"But Peter," I complained. "To Aslan, all time is soon."

Peter gave me a sad smile. He held my hands tighter, giving me

a kiss on my forehead.

"We just have to let it be the same for us then. It will be sooner

than we think."

He gave me one more smile and another kiss before leaving. I sat for another few minutes before getting up and changing into my night gown and turning my light off.

I let my mind drift to Narnian woods, where nymphs, and dryads danced. The fauns joined them, playing their pipes as they danced. My Tumnus was among them, his smile brighter than the stars above…Before I knew it, I was asleep, dreaming of home.

* * *

Would you look at that? I finished another chapter! Huzzah! I am now officially home for the summer. Thank Aslan!

Time for review responses...

SpangleyPony: First of all, your name is adorable! Where on earth did you come up with it? Second, I am so touched that you like it! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! I think the Pevensies are very lucky to have each other as siblings, so I have a lot of fun writing their interactions. Glad you liked it, too!

Nek0Nek0: Thanks! That was really sweet of you. I really appreciate it! I think I did pretty well...

White-Lily-Blossom: Again, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Lucy was always my favorite. I wanted to be her when I was a kid. I mean, how lucky is she? She found a whole country in the wardrobe! Why do things like that never happen to me? I agree that there aren't enough stories about them at home. That's why I'm writing one! I'll do my very best not to let you down!

Suka- Whoops! I was a little focused on finals.... To answer your question, this is pretty much a slice of life. There aren't going to be any bad guys, no wars. Just normal everyday stuff.


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